Club Pan-Demonica
Grand Tour
The Back Rooms
The Club PanDemonica has dozens... some say hundreds... of back rooms
tucked away for use by its patrons. There are two types of rooms
available: Office space and bedrooms. Private office spaces come
in three sizes... small, medium,and extra-large conference rooms.
They can be rented on a nightly, weekly, or monthly basis. Many of
Montfort's larger and more notorious criminals have one or several
spaces dedicated to their 'business.' Deals both large and small
are arranged and conducted nightly, with absolutly no interferance
from the law. Bedrooms come in small and medium sizes, and can only be
rented by the hour, although some more... prolific... patrons have
been known to arrange discount nightly rates. Access and availability of
both types of rooms must be obtained from Leonardo.
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The Bartender
One look at the Club's head bartender makes it clear that the Club's
rules do not apply to employees. The main bartender is
a zombie. Nameless... speechless... and completely dead. No one
questions his presence behind the bar, especially since the Bartender is
quite adept at mixing almost every drink known on Ifreann... ranging from
the exotic to the most mundane. In fact, out of all the Clubs other,
very normal bartenders, The Bartender is the ONLY one who can mix
Demon Brew... the Pan-Demonica's signature drink. What
intrigues patrons most about The Bartender isn't the fact that a zombie is
allowed to mix drinks, but the fact the he bears a striking resemblance to
Leonardo. It is commonly observed that The
Bartender looks like a much older, undead version of the Club's greeter
and chief of security. When asked about this, Leonardo refuses to
comment and quickly changes the subject. Many have guessed that Leonardo
and The Bartender are (or were) related... perhaps even as father and
son. The truth, however, is much stranger.
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The Boss
Contrary to popular belief, the identity of the Club's owner is NOT a
secret. Leonardo is quick to enlighten
anyone who asks. Unfortunately, anyone learning The Boss's name forgets
it within two seconds after
hearing it. This has lead to an entire field of rumors and speculation
concerning the man's (?) identity. Some say that Leonardo is the owner.
Others say that it is the Imp who actually owns the Club. Still others
speculate that the owner is some kind of demon who travels Ifreann in
search of souls. All of these...except perhaps the last one... are
vehemently denied by Leonardo, which only goes to further perpetuate the
rumors.
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Demon Brew
This one drink has been responsible for more Club-related deaths than
Leonardo, the Imp, and the
golems combined. Its origins are shrouded in
mystery, as are the exact ingredients. The only one who knows how to mix
the poisonous brew is The Bartender... and he is
neither interested nor capable of sharing the recipe. Demon brew is a
perfectly black liquid with a milky white froth, served for free to anyone
who asks. It contains a number of deadly poisons, and surprisingly little alcohol. The taste is unknown... since very few people have tried the drink and survived past the first sip. Why is such a drink served? Simple demand. The drink is actually quite popular despite the 99.8% death rate. The drink's effects on the human (elf, orc, or any other sentient lifeform) body are INVERSELY proportional to amount of EVIL that person has committed in his/her/its lifetime. Theoretically, a being of pure, unadulterated evil could drink Demon Brew with absolutely no ill effects. A devout priest, were he even allowed INTO the club, would be killed just standing NEXT to a glass of Demon Brew. (Or would he...?) Many patrons, already drunk on more mundane liquids, will order Demon Brew to test their manhood, their 'alignment,' or to just show off to their equally drunken friends. Most die horrible, gurgling deaths as their stomach is dissolved from the inside. Since the Pan-Demonica's opening in Montfort, only one man has successfully survived an encounter with Demon Brew. He won't
comment on the taste, but he does occasionally hang out by the bar and
finish the drinks of those who turn out not to be as evil as they thought
they were.
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The Commandments
Two enormous stone tables are mounted on the wall above the bar. Each
tablet bears an inscription... five lines carved deep into the stone:
- No Fighting - Take it outside.
- No Telepathy
- Club closes at Dawn. No Exceptions
- Stay Away from the Golems
- No Spitting
- Curiosity Kills - Mind Your Own Business.
- Living Only - Undead, Stay Away!
- Don’t Stare At the IMP!
- You Steal...You Die.
- Mages Welcome, But Keep Your Spells to Yourself.
The words glow with an angry red luminescence. They are the ten
commandments of the PanDemonica. The inscriptions can be understood
in every language and dialect... even by the totally illiterate. The
occasional blind patron has no trouble whatsoever perceiving the rules when
Leonardo points them in the general direction of
the stone tablets.
Those few troublemakers who dare violate the Club's commandments usually
find Leonardo and the Imp more than ready to deal with
their transgressions. Violations usually result in a one-way trip to
the Montfort sewers via "Imp-Express," but on a good night violater might just
be asked to escort themselves out the front door. That trap swings both ways,
however... More than one unlucky patron has caught The Imp on a bad night
and ended up as a large pile of steaming, worm-infested excrement slowly cooling
on the floor. Needless to say, it is not a good idea to test one's luck when
the Commandments of the PanDemonica are concerned.
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Golems
Big. Strong. Made out of enchanted iron. With the exception of
Leonardo
and the Imp, the Pan-Demonica's security force is
composed entirely of the
huge, hulking iron golems that are positioned strategically outside every
door and in various places throughout the club. Highly visible, the
golems keep the peace simply by their presence... even the most drunken
patron would think twice before tangling with one of the metal behemoths.
Every golem is unique, although none is smaller than 7" tall. The faces
are delicately-carved and remarkably lifelike... most display a permanent
frown. The exact number of golems is unclear; patrons find that new
golems appear regularly. Who makes them and where they come from are
unknown.
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The Imp
The Imp is just what its name suggests: An imp...a demon... from Hell.
How it came to be an employee of the Pan-Demonica is not clear, but the
Imp is perhaps the most well-known and recognizable feature of the Club.
It possesses as staggering amount of magical power, which it uses to help
Leonardo enforce the rules.
The creature stands about 3'6" high, which puts it at about eye-level when
it is poised atop its pedestal just inside the main entrance. It has oily
red skin and wings, and has fangs and claws that are black and most likely
poisonous. Some patrons have described the Imp by saying that it looks like a cross between a flying pig and a shaved baboon painted red. The sex of the creature is indeterminate, as it wears a small loincloth around its waist. In the past, Leonardo has stated that the Imp can be male, female, both, or neither, depending on the creature's mood. Even stranger than the Imp's appearance are its odd behavior and bizarre sense of humor. Despite its role as co-peacekeeper and co-enforcer of the rules, the Imp loves to play practical jokes on patrons in an effort to provoke them. It will often single out a lone patron and stare at him until the unlucky soul gives in and stares back, inviting no end of trouble for the unfortunate victim. Another favorite trick is to cause a male patron to suddenly appear female. The 'female' will be approached by an unending parade of drunken, lusty men, who will no doubt be knocked unconscious... a direct violation of Club rules. Leonardo usually puts an end to these jokes when he catches them, but when the victim is an unusually troublesome or
annoying patron he will often let the events unfold just to be rid of
them. One common misconception is that the Imp doesn't like to be stared
at. This is simply not true.... it LOVES to be the center of attention,
and will get somewhat excited when it knows that it is being watched.
At times it has mistaken a patron's curiosity as something more than
casual interest... and the patron might return home at the end of the
night and find a very nasty surprise waiting for him (or her... The Imp's
multi-sexual nature has already been mentioned). For this reason,
the Pan-Demonica has a strict "Don't stare at the Imp!" rule.
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Leonardo
The former-assassin known only as Leonardo is the greeter and chief of
security for the club. Leonardo is well-known by the numerous assassins
that visit the club, but few can remember exactly where they met or first
heard of him. He claims to have 'retired' from the assassin trade long
ago, but he still practices the killing arts on unruly patrons and those
who insist on breaking the Club's rules. His exact
age is unknown, although he appears to be a man in his early-to-mid
thirties. His hair is blond with very faint gray highlights. He is
somewhat thin, and wears very stylish clothes that fit with his job as
professional greeter. Leonardo is armed at all times, but the weapons are
usually hidden from site. Leonardo's favorite weapon is a set of
particularly nasty throwing-knives that explode on impact. Their use is
mostly reserved for patrons that are just too disgusting to get close to.
Leonardo claims to have no magical abilities or training, but anyone who
spends any length of time at the Club knows that this is a bold-faced lie.
When there is trouble, Leonardo appears much too quickly to have traveled
by normal means, and he has been known to quiet hysterical and/or unruly
patrons with just a wink of his eye. He is usually seen smiling,
laughing, and mingling with the patrons as they enter... but
troublemakers know that he can be anywhere in the club in less time than
it takes to blink. Newcomers to the Pan-Demonica should be warned that,
besides breaking the rules, there are TWO ways to get Leonardo on your bad
side: ONE is by asking him about his relationship with the undead
Bartender that looks like him, and the OTHER is
by addressing him as 'Leo.'
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